First I would like to say that I have accepted Jesus
Christ as my Savior, Jesus paid the price for me.it is
Jesus plus NOTHING!! THANKYOU LORD!
I was born into a family with a very abusive father.
There were many nights I would hear my mom crying and yelling please stop, as my dad would beat her. I
remember one night coming down stairs to the cries of
my mom, seeing my dad on top of her choking and
hitting her with his fists. I remember yelling STOP
DADDY STOP!! This went on forever it seemed like. My
older brothers and my older sister got the blunt of my
dad's fury. But I was my dad's "special little girl",
he would tell me over and over again. My dad sexually
abused me from a very young age. Things were done to
me that no child should have had done to them. A dad
is supposed to protect you and love you. I HATED my
dad! I HATED GOD!! I remember as a child, the only
time I heard God's name is when my dad used it as a
curse word. But none the less, I remember crying out
GOD HELP ME!! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME! I grew up in
this environment, not knowing what to do and so
confused about what love really was. Everytime my dad
would come in my room, he would say here is "my
special little girl". It sickened me!! My life was
filled with bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, hurt,
pain, and I didn't know how to get rid of it. I truly
hated my dad and wanted him dead!
I finally got away from all the abuse and married. I
married the first person that asked me just to get out
of this situation. Back then I never realized that God
gave me a man, who would, truly loved me for who I am.
After I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I was
still bitter with God. I questioned God on why didn't
He help me many years ago. Why did He forsake me?
Surely God couldn't have thought something good could
have come out of all that mess.
I started going to the City of Refuge and listening. I
remember we were discussing forgiveness and how God
uses our past for our future. How good can come from
our past. I thought they were all absolutely NUTS!!
How can good come out of something so horrible. We
talked about how forgiveness will come when we are
ready for it to happen. It is different for everyone.
Our past can control us or we can learn from it. God
has a reason and purpose for everything. We can either
get bitter or better. That God does not do things to
us but for us. I listened for several days, thinking
yeah, easy for you to say it didn't happen to you.
Then God started speaking to my heart, and the words,
you can get bitter or better, be controlled by your
past or learn from it, I don't do things to you but
for you.
One night I started thinking about my past. I started
thinking what good could possibly come from it and
what is it I have learned. Then a light bulb turned
on. God started to show me things. My past was to
learn from and learn from I did. I learned how to be
a loving parent, I learned that the word, "I love
you," to my children was something I told them all the
time and wanted them to know, I learned how to love my
children, and show them the right kind of love. I
learned how to teach my children how to treat others
and their future children and spouse. I was able to
instill morals in my children's lives at a young age.
Most of all, my children never had to go through the
abuse that I had to endure. I learned that people can
love and it doesn't hurt. God has brought people in
my life that have and is now going through similar
circumstances. He has taught me to be patient and
understanding with them for I know and can feel their
pain. I realized that God was there with me, He heard
my cries, and how it must have hurt Him, but also, I
needed to experience what I did to reach out to others
and to be the type of person I am today, and raise my
children the way I did. But most importantly, I
learned how to finally truly FORGIVE, and will be able
to help others see, that you can forgive, when the
time is right.
When I realized our past is to learn from not to
control us, it is then and only then I could forgive!!
That night I began to cry hysterically, God started to
do a working in my heart and He showed me just how
much He really did and does love me, all that pain,
that bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, and hurt was
now leaving me after 45 years. I could finally say,
dad I forgive you!
This is a poem I wrote, the night I forgave my dad.
Dad, Why?
Why did you abuse me in the things that you did?
The way you looked at me and put your hands on me and
hurt me so bad?
You took my innocence, and caused me so much grief,
You broke me dad, till I couldn't find any peace.
You said, "I'm your special little girl", and that you
loved me so,
Then you abused me and brought me down so low.
You heard my cries at night, and the times I begged
you so,
But you said, "you are my special little girl", and
wouldn't let me go.
Dad, I hated you for so many years,
Times you brought me oh, so many tears.
Then, something happened to me, dad, it happened so
deep within my heart,
You see, I met the Savior of the world and oh, what
love He did impart.
He showed me how to forgive and bring peace back in my
heart!
He forgives and died upon that tree, and dad, He shed
His blood for me,
Oh, dad how I wish you were alive today, I'd share
with you the sweet Savior from Calvary.
He loved you too, how I wish you met Him,
And how I wished you could have lived for Him.
Dad, He taught me to forgive and took all this pain
away,
If you were here, this is what I would say.
Dad, I love you with all my heart,
I forgive you for all the abuse and pain you did
impart.
But there is one, who loves you even more,
He is JESUS, THE SAVIOUR OF THE WORLD!!
Accept Him in your heart today,
Please don't turn and walk away.
This is what I would say,
If only dad, you were alive today.
The answer to my question, I will never know its true,
But, dad, I know just ONE TOUCH FROM THE MASTER'S
HAND,
Would have made a changed man in you!!
((((((((((((((((DAD))))))))))) I LOVE AND FORGIVE
YOU!!
Truly our past can control us or we can learn from it.
We can get better or bitter, and God does things for
us never to us. When I saw the good from my past,
that is when I for the first time could finally be SET
FREE, and FORGIVE, and say THANKYOU Lord! THANKYOU
Lord for my past!!
If you are struggling with your past, be patient and
look for what you have learned and get better not
bitter, and know God does love you and He does things
for you and not to you. The forgiveness will come, I
promise. God bless!
Christ as my Savior, Jesus paid the price for me.it is
Jesus plus NOTHING!! THANKYOU LORD!
I was born into a family with a very abusive father.
There were many nights I would hear my mom crying and yelling please stop, as my dad would beat her. I
remember one night coming down stairs to the cries of
my mom, seeing my dad on top of her choking and
hitting her with his fists. I remember yelling STOP
DADDY STOP!! This went on forever it seemed like. My
older brothers and my older sister got the blunt of my
dad's fury. But I was my dad's "special little girl",
he would tell me over and over again. My dad sexually
abused me from a very young age. Things were done to
me that no child should have had done to them. A dad
is supposed to protect you and love you. I HATED my
dad! I HATED GOD!! I remember as a child, the only
time I heard God's name is when my dad used it as a
curse word. But none the less, I remember crying out
GOD HELP ME!! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME! I grew up in
this environment, not knowing what to do and so
confused about what love really was. Everytime my dad
would come in my room, he would say here is "my
special little girl". It sickened me!! My life was
filled with bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, hurt,
pain, and I didn't know how to get rid of it. I truly
hated my dad and wanted him dead!
I finally got away from all the abuse and married. I
married the first person that asked me just to get out
of this situation. Back then I never realized that God
gave me a man, who would, truly loved me for who I am.
After I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I was
still bitter with God. I questioned God on why didn't
He help me many years ago. Why did He forsake me?
Surely God couldn't have thought something good could
have come out of all that mess.
I started going to the City of Refuge and listening. I
remember we were discussing forgiveness and how God
uses our past for our future. How good can come from
our past. I thought they were all absolutely NUTS!!
How can good come out of something so horrible. We
talked about how forgiveness will come when we are
ready for it to happen. It is different for everyone.
Our past can control us or we can learn from it. God
has a reason and purpose for everything. We can either
get bitter or better. That God does not do things to
us but for us. I listened for several days, thinking
yeah, easy for you to say it didn't happen to you.
Then God started speaking to my heart, and the words,
you can get bitter or better, be controlled by your
past or learn from it, I don't do things to you but
for you.
One night I started thinking about my past. I started
thinking what good could possibly come from it and
what is it I have learned. Then a light bulb turned
on. God started to show me things. My past was to
learn from and learn from I did. I learned how to be
a loving parent, I learned that the word, "I love
you," to my children was something I told them all the
time and wanted them to know, I learned how to love my
children, and show them the right kind of love. I
learned how to teach my children how to treat others
and their future children and spouse. I was able to
instill morals in my children's lives at a young age.
Most of all, my children never had to go through the
abuse that I had to endure. I learned that people can
love and it doesn't hurt. God has brought people in
my life that have and is now going through similar
circumstances. He has taught me to be patient and
understanding with them for I know and can feel their
pain. I realized that God was there with me, He heard
my cries, and how it must have hurt Him, but also, I
needed to experience what I did to reach out to others
and to be the type of person I am today, and raise my
children the way I did. But most importantly, I
learned how to finally truly FORGIVE, and will be able
to help others see, that you can forgive, when the
time is right.
When I realized our past is to learn from not to
control us, it is then and only then I could forgive!!
That night I began to cry hysterically, God started to
do a working in my heart and He showed me just how
much He really did and does love me, all that pain,
that bitterness, hatred, unforgiveness, and hurt was
now leaving me after 45 years. I could finally say,
dad I forgive you!
This is a poem I wrote, the night I forgave my dad.
Dad, Why?
Why did you abuse me in the things that you did?
The way you looked at me and put your hands on me and
hurt me so bad?
You took my innocence, and caused me so much grief,
You broke me dad, till I couldn't find any peace.
You said, "I'm your special little girl", and that you
loved me so,
Then you abused me and brought me down so low.
You heard my cries at night, and the times I begged
you so,
But you said, "you are my special little girl", and
wouldn't let me go.
Dad, I hated you for so many years,
Times you brought me oh, so many tears.
Then, something happened to me, dad, it happened so
deep within my heart,
You see, I met the Savior of the world and oh, what
love He did impart.
He showed me how to forgive and bring peace back in my
heart!
He forgives and died upon that tree, and dad, He shed
His blood for me,
Oh, dad how I wish you were alive today, I'd share
with you the sweet Savior from Calvary.
He loved you too, how I wish you met Him,
And how I wished you could have lived for Him.
Dad, He taught me to forgive and took all this pain
away,
If you were here, this is what I would say.
Dad, I love you with all my heart,
I forgive you for all the abuse and pain you did
impart.
But there is one, who loves you even more,
He is JESUS, THE SAVIOUR OF THE WORLD!!
Accept Him in your heart today,
Please don't turn and walk away.
This is what I would say,
If only dad, you were alive today.
The answer to my question, I will never know its true,
But, dad, I know just ONE TOUCH FROM THE MASTER'S
HAND,
Would have made a changed man in you!!
((((((((((((((((DAD))))))))))) I LOVE AND FORGIVE
YOU!!
Truly our past can control us or we can learn from it.
We can get better or bitter, and God does things for
us never to us. When I saw the good from my past,
that is when I for the first time could finally be SET
FREE, and FORGIVE, and say THANKYOU Lord! THANKYOU
Lord for my past!!
If you are struggling with your past, be patient and
look for what you have learned and get better not
bitter, and know God does love you and He does things
for you and not to you. The forgiveness will come, I
promise. God bless!
