I was an abused Child growing up. When I was small, my father was physically & verbally abusive.He worked nights and I could hear my mother sitting in the dark drinking and Crying. Our house was filled with fighting and arguing. Because my mother was so busy trying to cope herself, I was molested by 9 different men throughout my childhood.
In my latter years as a child my family started going to the SDA church and soon I found myself locked away in their Institution for Education, also known as Academy. I got myself thrown out of there. I ran away at the age of 15 and been on my own since. I married at 16
and went through being a rape victim & 3 abusive marriages having a child in each marriage. I decided I couldn't take it anymore and tried toend my life 3 different times planning it out so carefully and making sure I would not be found out. I Just wanted the Pain to Stop.
To make a long story short I had been intercepted all 3 times. I became very angry with God, because I "knew" it could only be him who saved me. I thought God had abandoned me and could not figure out why he wouldn't allow me to die. So I became drunk one night and decided to ask him WHY?!
I found myself in the middle of the street screaming at him and throwing my bottle at him. I went in the house and fell to my knees sobbing. At that moment it felt as if God was holding me. I told him I didn't know
how to live my life and "IF" I gave my life to him HE would have to do something with it. I could hear him say.."I WILL". Then I Passed out. When I woke from my drunken stupor I felt and thought differently. I started questioning myself, my religion, my broken relationships, how I coped with my past, my whole outlook on life.
The curse was going to stop here one way or the other.
I decided to make some changes and trusted God to help me.
I had went to secular counseling and they gave me no hope labeling me with 4 major disorders and said I'd need them for the rest of my life not to mention drugs. Something stood up in me and said... I cant except that!
I sought Christian canceling for dealing with my past
and sought Jesus for my healing. I trust no man to teach me, so I go to no church. None ever felt right, and boy I church hopped! all I ever got in the end was condemnation &/or confusion. The religion I was raised in gave me nothing but a dead letter of do's & don'ts to live by and no power to draw from.
Today I believe in the Trinity and He is my God.
The Father is my Daddy, The Son is my Lord & The Holy Spirit is my Teacher and the bible is my Guidelines.
I have a personal relationship with Him & know I am not alone.
I found my peace in Jesus and am learning to rest in him.
He saved me out of a world of hurt and showed me real love. I could sit here and tell you all the miracles in my life since, but one thing I want to share...
Learning IS a process...not a taught behavior!
I am a living testimony that Jesus works because I have survived my past when the world gave me no hope and am a new creation in Christ Jesus...Glory to God!
The City of Refuge has been a blessing to me and I want to thank all who are a part of it.
In my latter years as a child my family started going to the SDA church and soon I found myself locked away in their Institution for Education, also known as Academy. I got myself thrown out of there. I ran away at the age of 15 and been on my own since. I married at 16
and went through being a rape victim & 3 abusive marriages having a child in each marriage. I decided I couldn't take it anymore and tried toend my life 3 different times planning it out so carefully and making sure I would not be found out. I Just wanted the Pain to Stop.
To make a long story short I had been intercepted all 3 times. I became very angry with God, because I "knew" it could only be him who saved me. I thought God had abandoned me and could not figure out why he wouldn't allow me to die. So I became drunk one night and decided to ask him WHY?!
I found myself in the middle of the street screaming at him and throwing my bottle at him. I went in the house and fell to my knees sobbing. At that moment it felt as if God was holding me. I told him I didn't know
how to live my life and "IF" I gave my life to him HE would have to do something with it. I could hear him say.."I WILL". Then I Passed out. When I woke from my drunken stupor I felt and thought differently. I started questioning myself, my religion, my broken relationships, how I coped with my past, my whole outlook on life.
The curse was going to stop here one way or the other.
I decided to make some changes and trusted God to help me.
I had went to secular counseling and they gave me no hope labeling me with 4 major disorders and said I'd need them for the rest of my life not to mention drugs. Something stood up in me and said... I cant except that!
I sought Christian canceling for dealing with my past
and sought Jesus for my healing. I trust no man to teach me, so I go to no church. None ever felt right, and boy I church hopped! all I ever got in the end was condemnation &/or confusion. The religion I was raised in gave me nothing but a dead letter of do's & don'ts to live by and no power to draw from.
Today I believe in the Trinity and He is my God.
The Father is my Daddy, The Son is my Lord & The Holy Spirit is my Teacher and the bible is my Guidelines.
I have a personal relationship with Him & know I am not alone.
I found my peace in Jesus and am learning to rest in him.
He saved me out of a world of hurt and showed me real love. I could sit here and tell you all the miracles in my life since, but one thing I want to share...
Learning IS a process...not a taught behavior!
I am a living testimony that Jesus works because I have survived my past when the world gave me no hope and am a new creation in Christ Jesus...Glory to God!
The City of Refuge has been a blessing to me and I want to thank all who are a part of it.
